no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
