I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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