he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
