why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
