We won't sleep together?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
