I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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