I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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