At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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