Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
