At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize