Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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