Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize