They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I deserve this hangover.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
