Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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