dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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