I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
