Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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