so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
