In the future we'll all be gay
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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