Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
