We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
