You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
