i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
