Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize