508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
