yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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