You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We need to rekindle our bromance
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
