ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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