Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
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