But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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