Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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