so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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