All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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