I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
