hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
