why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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