i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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