I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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