it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i think i have two assholes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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