WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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