I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
