At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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