The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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