dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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