with your own penis?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
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I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
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There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.