five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet