I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry