Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Say something about gay babies.

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(605): Say something about gay babies. http://tfl.nu/ehqd

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(303): View more from Colorado

Billy Mays died!

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?

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(303): Billy Mays died! (1-303): I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world? http://tfl.nu/rasz

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.

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(570): we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up. http://tfl.nu/su5y

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(703): View more from Virginia

Too much gin, very little bucket

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(703): Too much gin, very little bucket http://tfl.nu/etvy

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(240): View more from Maryland

It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.

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(240): It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued. http://tfl.nu/5cyo

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(662): View more from Mississippi

We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.

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(662): We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety. http://tfl.nu/psgs

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(903): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later

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(903): Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later http://tfl.nu/a1zy

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.

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(215): He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down. http://tfl.nu/lp4z

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(256): View more from Alabama

Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.

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(256): Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence. http://tfl.nu/20hw

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(216): View more from Ohio

I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?

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(216): I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america? http://tfl.nu/75bl

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(727): View more from Florida

If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.

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(727): If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take. http://tfl.nu/cnz2

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(614): View more from Ohio

Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter

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(614): Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter http://tfl.nu/3fce

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(802): View more from Vermont

Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.

(802): View more from Vermont

'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'

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(802): Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday. (802): 'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!' http://tfl.nu/efoo

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(914): View more from New York

He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.

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(914): He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him. http://tfl.nu/d8kc

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now

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(215): Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now http://tfl.nu/6dgv

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