I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office