i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
only you would photoshop your dick
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME