maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
