oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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