their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I know her cup size but not her name....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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