I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
