My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
