I must be too annoying 4 u.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
dude. I can hear the air.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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