She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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