Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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