he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
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You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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