I'm lost and stupid without you.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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