I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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