Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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