No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
