A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
