she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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