im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
