yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's rum buckets o'clock
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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