my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
