Whod you bang
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
