Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize