I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
