i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
