What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
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You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
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in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.