shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
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I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
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They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.