Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.