I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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