This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I need to align my fucking chakras
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